Keepin' the Faith

This morning is all about leaps of faith. With all of my PC problems I'm considering taking the plunge and purchasing my first Mac. The new Macbook seems to be just what I'm looking for, and it's not any more expensive than the Dell I was considering. I feel like PCs have jerked me around long enough, I think I'm looking forward to a pristine white 2001-Space-Odyssey computing experience, which seems apt since I'm going to Space College* and all.

The second leap of faith of the day: I'm going to be honest in this here blog, that is out in the open for my classmates, teachers, and whoever else to read: I'm feeling like I'm a bit in over my head here. I feel as though, by the third week of grad school, I should be hitting my stride and adjusting to the pace but I'm just not there yet. I work full-time, but so do most of the people in the program and many of them have been out of school a lot longer than I have (and many have kids, which I can't even imagine with this workload). Nevertheless I'm finding it hard to comprehend how we're expected to do all the work that is given to us -- which amounts to definitely over 1,000 pages of reading per week + 3 blog posts per week + podcasts + weekly discussion board posts + book reviews + tagging assignments...

I just feel like I'm spending every waking moment working and I'm still not on top of it all, no matter how hard I'm trying. I realize that grad school is supposed to be difficult but I feel like it's bordering on impossible. Of course I'm never one to give up no matter how hard something is, I'd sooner work myself into oblivion than admit something is too hard for me (which is why this entry is so difficult to write) but MAN I really, really hope I hit my stride soon because I'm feeling impotent and out-of-control and that's something I never feel.

Well it feels a little better to get this off of my chest, and I'm sure I'm not the only one struggling here. I'm just going to keep plowing on and hope that I will adjust sooner than later.

*I've coined the term Space College to refer to my distance learning experience after being blown away by the first Courseweb videocast. If any of you kind readers out there start using it, I expect royalties. Hey, I might have a new computer to pay for.